Get out of your own way
A phrase I daily remind myself of and one that is resounding in the podcasts I listen to. How can you have progress if you are only ever comfortable? Pushing your limits is not for everyone but it transitions into personal growth, leveling up in your skills, mental growth and so much more.
I am a competitive person and mostly with myself. The expectations I have are probably unrealistic but give me a consistent goal and vision to work towards. (Later in this blog I talk about imposter syndrome and perfectionism)This has been instilled in me for a while. If you don’t know, I am an athlete. More specifically a runner. In college I competed nationally in the 400m hurdles and the women’s 4x400relay. I’ve won awards and hold records, but what means the most is the self discipline and lifestyle I developed. I continue to train everyday and compete in a variety of races when I can. However the training and time spent with other likeminded fitness individuals is more important to me than awards or personal records.
I love fitness and the human body. Its limitless and capable of things beyond what we know. Fitness in any capacity is a mental escape, meditation, growth, punishment, place of solitude and my go to. It is a release and growth I really cannot explain, but I am addicted to it. I can have a terrible day but if I get in a workout or start my day off with it, it changes everything. I change up my routine and get stronger every day.
What does running have to do with art? Well, a lot. Mental clarity and time to problem solve the steps and work I am going to do is a warm up for creating. More importantly the self discipline transitions into the studio.
I’d like to say I am disciplined enough (at this moment) that I do a 15 min. morning sketch, go for a run and then come back to the studio, then go work on whatever mural or project I have on the docket…but I am not there yet. That is a constant battle and resistance is a thief. I am in my own way, and I need to step aside and put my confidence in my athleticism into my studio time. I need a studio routine just like a fitness routine. Practice practice practice, is the only way to improve and learn. I am terrible at figure drawing and portraits. Even saying that seems embarrassing but putting it in words makes it an accountability to myself.
To combat that and push my comfort levels I occasionally volunteer as a model for photography friends. They get practice and build their portfolio and I get to play dress up. I do not consider myself to be any level of an image worthy model, but my goodness I have learned so much! Forcing myself to be hyper aware of my body positioning, finding the light, interacting with other forms has really enhanced my artwork in the studio. I have always been extremely expressive in my face, and if you know me personally I am a jokester. I ruin photos with silly faces telling jokes and mask my uncomfortableness with laughter. But because I had to get out of my own way and comfort to learn more and grow I am able to embrace a different side to my work and presenting an individual for my friends portfolios.
Getting out of my own way has really developed my work and is evident in each piece. It gives me better understanding of my materials, my subject, and I keep practicing. I wouldn’t say I am confident in these works, but strive for a goal of what I think their completion is and making sure they promoting a positive direction.
Getting out of your own way also includes mental talk. Art is hard. Yep, it is. It is a delicate dance of deconstructing, preanticipated markings, understanding materials, application, and constructing an end result that communicates exactly what you are wanting……..uh yeah, art is hard. And in my head I am usually self defeated before I even start. But getting out of my way… I have to practice, create and press on. It is the only way for improvement and one that many people (especially artists) struggle with. You may know the term “imposter syndrome-an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be. While this definition is usually narrowly applied to intelligence and achievement, it has links to perfectionism and the social context.”<-- I'll tell a little on myself and say I am probably low in percentage of imposter syndrome and much much higher on the perfectionism. I can say that I felt imposter syndrome most recently in a room of economic and community driven achievers of multiple disciplinaries in my recent Kentucky Bright Leadership course. (I will go on about that in a future blog.) I felt beyond honored to be the first and only artist in my 2021 class. No pressure right? Not only that I definitely felt the imposter syndrome. But I had to get out of my own way and take those steps. I had to own up what I did and show how passionate and important it really is. And I will happily talk art all-day-long! These amazing people could see it. Unbeknownst to me it seeps from me and radiates.
So, getting out of my own way has become easier with practice, with self awareness, with positive talk. But I still work at it every day. Don’t be fearful of what you don’t think you are capable of, get out of your way and get after it!
Thank you for reading.